There’s a feeling I get when I sit down, put some music on, get quiet and just reflect. There’s a longing for a place. I’m not really sure where that place is yet, maybe it’s not even a place. Could it be I’m just at a point in my life now where I’m ready for love; to share this adventure with that special person as we jet set to places still to be discovered. Where ever she is at, my heart will be… and as long as we’re together, that’s where my days will be spent?
I’m at cross roads of many feelings, emotions and I’m being pulled in many directions with choices needing to be made. There are challenging obstacles sent to create doubt in myself. These have to be worked through and endured because I believe that I can achieve whatever it is I seek, as I go all out working on my dreams whilst loving this life that I am creating.
There’s been an increased feeling of fear… fear of being average, fear of being just like everyone else… that is driving me to go harder, do more, be more, show up daily and take part in this craziness which is ultimately only a race against myself. I hope however to be able to change, inspire and touch as many people’s lives as possible and to help where ever possible in some way, form or other… regardless of what it may be. I want to be somebody’s ray of sunshine, somebody’s inspiration to not give in, to not quit!
This may now not be your typical ‘get pumped, motivational, informational or even helpful’ kind of blog. This is not scientific stuff, where everything is on par. I sound like I know exactly what I’m doing, how to do it and what to always say… it’s just me sitting home alone on a Saturday night getting real with myself, with you and the rest of the interweb.
I’m not sure where I will be next, yeah I have a plane ticket home to South Africa the 17th November, which is not that far away but anything can happen. I don’t know what opportunities could come my way and as you know from my previous blog, I always choose the adventure.
This is all just happening in a hurry, am I really ready… who knows? But if I had to wait till the time was ‘right’ I probably would never have gotten started, I probably wouldn’t be where I am now, I wouldn’t be becoming the person I am, I wouldn’t be writing a blog for my own website, for which I am really grateful to iKind Media for taking a chance, believing in and sponsoring me, giving me a belief that I can be That Beard Guy and this is what I should be doing.
When I have those down, low moments and I do, don’t you worry, where I wonder why I’m doing this all and could quite easily just curl up in the fetal position and throw in the towel, stop fighting the flow just pick my feet up and get swept away, I think about the people I would be letting down, the people that are yet to come into my life that I could potentially help, the haters that want to see me fail. I pull myself towards myself and as I like to say, ‘kyk Noord en fok voort’ (look North and move forward)… just don’t stop moving.
So “Thank You” to everybody who took the time to read this. “Thank You” to everybody who follows me. “Thank You” to those who believe in and support me. “Thank You” to iKind Media, “Thank You” to Arbitrary Tattoo Studio and hey… “Thanks” to the critics and haters. Most of all the “BIGGEST THANK YOU” in the world to my most amazing sponsor, fan, believer in me through all the ups and downs, the most incredible woman in my world MyMom. Much love and appreciation to you all.